From Exit to Stay: A Proactive Approach to Membership Retention
By: Martin Degas
In the capacity of a lodge Almoner, I have often been asked to prepare the paperwork when a member submits a resignation. It is a sobering task. Once a lodge member has resolved to leave Freemasonry, the decision is usually final.
Grand Lodges in various jurisdictions have experimented with “exit interviews,” in which a lodge officer contacts the resigning member to learn why they have chosen to leave. The intention is noble: to understand the reasons and, if possible, to reverse the resignation.
But the reality is stark. By the time a member has taken the step of submitting a resignation, their journey has effectively ended. They do not wish to be persuaded to rescind, nor are they interested in being directed to another lodge. In most reports I have seen, fewer than 1% of resignations are reversed.
An exit interview is like asking a departing passenger how their holiday could have been improved as they board the plane home. The answers may be useful for the future, but they do nothing to change the present outcome.
This has led me to consider a different approach:
rather than waiting until a member is leaving, why not speak with them while they are still here?
Why not ask what is working, what is not, and what we might do better, before resignation becomes a serious thought?
IMAGE credit: the square magazine Digital Collection (CC BY 4.0)
This is the principle of the “stay interview.”
Why Exit Interviews Fall Short
Exit interviews provide information after the fact. They are retrospective, not proactive. The questions we ask a resigning member might include:
“Why have you decided to leave?”
or “Is there anything we could have done differently?”
But these questions are asked too late.
The answers often point to issues that have been present for years — lack of meaningful engagement, long or tedious meetings, cliques within the lodge, or the perception that Freemasonry no longer fits with family or work commitments.
By the time those frustrations are voiced, the member has already withdrawn emotionally from the Craft.
If we are serious about retention, we must shift our focus from endings to continuance…
What is a Stay Interview?
A stay interview is a structured, friendly conversation with a member who is still active. Its purpose is simple: to discover what keeps them engaged, what they value, and what might cause them to drift away if left unaddressed.
Unlike a survey — which can feel impersonal — a stay interview is personal. It signals to the member: “You matter. Your voice is important. We want you here.”
This proactive approach does several things:
- It surfaces small frustrations before they grow into big reasons for leaving.
- It highlights what the lodge is doing well and should continue.
- It provides actionable insights for leaders to improve the lodge experience.
- Most importantly, it strengthens the bond between the member and the lodge, because they know their experience is valued.
IMAGE credit: the square magazine Digital Collection (CC BY 4.0)
How to Conduct a Stay Interview
In my view, every lodge should make stay interviews a part of its annual rhythm. They need not be formal, nor should they be bureaucratic. Think of them as conversations over a coffee, a pint, or even a walk around the park.
Timing
• Once a year is sufficient for most members.
• For newer members — Entered Apprentices, Fellowcrafts, and newly raised Master Masons — a six-month check-in is wise.
Who should conduct them?
• Ideally, the Lodge Mentor or Membership Officer, as they are already tasked with supporting members.
• In smaller lodges, a Warden or Past Master can take the lead.
• The Worshipful Master may wish to conduct a few themselves, particularly with newer members, to set a tone of care.
Tone
• Supportive, not interrogative.
• Curious, not judgmental.
• Respectful of confidentiality.
The Questions to Ask
The key to a good stay interview is open-ended questions that invite reflection. Here are the categories I have found most fruitful:
1. Belonging and Value
• “What do you enjoy most about being a Freemason?”
• “When do you feel most connected to the lodge?”
• “What makes you feel valued as a member?”
2. Engagement and Participation
• “Which aspects of our meetings or activities do you find most meaningful?”
• “Are there parts of lodge life where you would like to be more involved?”
• “Is there anything you’d like to contribute that you haven’t had the chance to yet?”
3. Improvement and Frustrations
• “What challenges or frustrations have you experienced?”
• “If you could change one thing about how the lodge operates, what would it be?”
• “Have there been times when you felt excluded, overlooked, or under-used?”
4. Aspirations and Growth
• “What personal goals do you hope Freemasonry can help you achieve?”
• “What skills or knowledge would you like to develop within the Craft?”
• “Are there opportunities for education, ritual, or service you would like to explore?”
IMAGE credit: the square magazine Digital Collection (CC BY 4.0)
I have used some of these questions myself. One member told me candidly that they found our meetings “too heavy on administration and too light on learning.”
Another admitted they were considering resignation because they felt under-prepared for ritual parts and embarrassed when called upon.
Both comments were immensely helpful: they spurred us to create shorter business meetings, and we set up a small group for ritual coaching.
Those changes benefited the entire lodge, not just the individuals who voiced the concerns.
Turning Answers into Action
A natural concern is how to make the answers useful rather than anecdotal. My suggestion is to combine narrative with measurement.
Quantify where possible:
• Use a simple 1–5 scale:
1 = very dissatisfied
5 = very satisfied
• Apply this to aspects such as ritual, fellowship, education, and social events.
• Record the scores alongside the open comments.
Look for patterns:
• Are several members highlighting the same frustration?
• Is there a dip in satisfaction among newer members compared to long-standing ones?
• Do scores improve or decline year by year?
Act visibly:
• Pick two or three priorities to address each year.
• Communicate the changes back to the lodge: “Members told us our festive boards felt rushed. This year, we are adjusting the schedule to allow more time for fellowship.”
• Closing the loop is vital. If members see their feedback acted upon, they will be more willing to give it again.
IMAGE credit: the square magazine Digital Collection (CC BY 4.0)
Benefits Beyond Retention
Stay interviews do more than prevent resignations. They actively build a culture of listening. They empower members to shape the lodge they love. They make the Craft feel alive and relevant to each generation.
I recall a newer member who said they longed for more opportunities to discuss the philosophy behind our rituals. We responded by organising short “nugget” talks after the closing of the lodge.
Not only did this satisfy their interest, but it also drew in other members who had quietly wished for the same. Without the stay interview, that desire might never have surfaced.
Conclusion
Exit interviews are about endings. Stay interviews are about beginnings. They move us from reactive explanations to proactive engagement.
If we truly wish to retain members, we must do more than lament their departure. We must ask, listen, and act while they are still among us. Every conversation is an opportunity to strengthen the bonds of brotherhood and fellowship.
I commend to you the practice of the stay interview. Try it in your lodge this year. Ask your members what keeps them here, what could be improved, and what they dream of experiencing within the Craft. I am confident you will discover insights that not only preserve membership but also enrich the life of your lodge
In the end, the most powerful retention strategy is simple:
make every member feel heard, valued, and engaged.
Article by: Martin Degas
Martin is a Belgian-based IT professional and writer with a deep passion for Freemasonry. Initiated into the Grand Orient de France in 2007, he has spent years exploring the philosophical and historical aspects of the craft.
With a background in computer science, Martin combines analytical thinking with a keen interest in symbolism and tradition.
His published works include articles on Freemasonry, delving into its esoteric and societal influences. When not working in the tech industry, he enjoys studying Masonic history and engaging with the broader fraternity.
Martin continues to write and contribute to discussions on Freemasonry.
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